Patience?

Sometimes I hate being a woman. And I say that with the utmost respect for myself and all women. I hate being hormonal, I hate being emotional, I hate only thinking about that cute boy that I just met and all the possibilities that come along with him. Why can't I just simply be. There have been times when that has happened. But they are few and far between and they usually involve alcohol. Recently they have involved extremely open communication that didn't spawn with me, it began with him. This man is a rarity, his style is sweet and charming and he leads you to believe that he will protect you and be 100% completely honest with you about almost everything. Even when you ask the dreadful, how is this or that regarding another girl or possible situations that truly you do not want to know the answer but you ask anyway. It's like torture to yourself. He's smart enough to save you from it. This man towers over me with a protective aura that I have always loved and endeared in a man. He's smart and is not afraid to let it show. He is also running from real adulthood at the moment, as are a lot of men. But he is still doing it in a secure and responsible manner. I knew if I stayed in the same state as him I would be stuck in a rut and become an alcoholic and never accomplish any of my goals. So I left, moved away but I can't help but think of him and how much fun we could be having together. I think a three year sounds like a great goal for me, three years to drink, travel, meet new people, have sex, change jobs make money do whatever I want to do. Then see where that all takes me. If its back to him then fantastic, if not then I am sure I found someone amazing that will match or even bear him in some or all ways. I know I deserve to be happy. I just need to figure out what will make me happy. First thing on the list is taken care of, I moved to California. Now to make sure I don't regret it.

This is how it goes right?

Hello All,

This is probably not going to be read by many and I am ok with that. I am hoping to be able to write out some of the crazy thoughts I have during the one week of the month that drives all women crazy.  Then I want to be able to go back and read through them so I will understand just how crazy I can really be. A self psychology test of sorts. There will be some random events and small encounters on here that in my mind were a HUGE deal in the moment. I hope to be able to calm myself through self treatment. We will see how it goes.

Whoever you are, have a great day!